Are OkCupid Likes Fake?

Mostly no. A like on OkCupid comes from an account that had to confirm a phone number by SMS, and OkCupid bans fake accounts. That does not make every like a woman who wants to meet you, and OkCupid gives no figure for how many fakes slip through. The practical answer is to treat a like as a small signal, check who sent it, and turn the real ones into matches and messaging.

A Like is a signal from a member that she is interested in someone. When two members Like each other, OkCupid tells both of them for free.

It also changes what you see. OkCupid says that if someone Likes your profile, you are more likely to see her sooner in Discover, so that you get the chance to Like her back. That is a design choice, not a trick. The app is nudging two interested people toward each other.

OkCupid has several checks, and each one makes a fake account harder to run.

Every member must confirm a phone number by SMS. A number can be verified on only one OkCupid account at a time, so one person cannot cheaply run a stack of profiles from a single number.

Its Community Guidelines say it does not tolerate any kind of fake account. Creating a fake account gets both the main account and the fakes banned.

OkCupid also offers Photo Verification. The member records a video selfie, and the check confirms she is a real, live person and that she matches her profile photos. A verified member gets a Photo Verified badge. Face Check goes a step further by comparing a member's face data against other accounts, to help make sure no other profile is using that person's likeness.

None of this is perfect, and OkCupid does not claim it is. It does mean a fake has more to get past on OkCupid than on an app that only asks for an email.

Even a real like can feel empty, for ordinary reasons.

A like costs one tap. Many women like several men in an evening and write to a few of them. A woman who liked you may be done with the app by the time you reply.

Free accounts also have a daily limit on how many profiles they can Like, while a paid plan removes it. So a woman on a paid plan can like far more men without thinking hard about each one.

And some likes come from accounts that are not who they seem. The usual signs are a very polished photo set, a thin page, fast replies that answer nothing specific, and an early push to leave the app. If a like comes from a page like that, do not Like back.

Open her page and look for three things.

First, the Photo Verified badge. It is the best quick sign that the photos belong to a real, live woman.

Second, whether the page says anything. A real woman usually writes at least a few lines that sound like her, and she has answered some match questions.

Third, whether the photos look like one life. Several settings, different days, different clothes, and one or two shots that are not flattering all point to a real person.

If she passes, Like her back and write something specific. If she does not, you can skip her at no cost.

A like only matters if it becomes a conversation. A mutual like opens a chat for free.

Your first message should mention one specific thing from her page and ask a question she can answer in a sentence. "Hey" sits among a dozen others and loses.

Then move toward a plan. After a handful of exchanges, suggest a specific drink on a specific evening. A real woman usually says yes or gives you a real reason why not. A fake drifts, and the drifting tells you what she is.

a dating coach's warning applies on every app: a man who likes nearly everyone tends to get worse results than a man who likes fewer women and picks them with care. It also means your own likes should be easy to defend. Like the women whose pages give you something to say.

If you want to know whether OkCupid is working for you, count over two weeks: likes sent, likes received, mutual likes, conversations that lasted and dates set. If real conversations and dates come out of it, the likes are real enough. If nothing does, improve your photos and your first line before you decide the app is fake.