Are Match.com Profiles Private?

Not by default. Every Match.com member has two visibility options for their profile: Visible, where any member can view it, and Hidden, where it is shown to no one. A paid add-on called Private Mode sits in between and lets only the people you choose to contact see your profile. Match says it has no feature to hide or show your profile to specific members one by one.

Visible is the starting point. Any member can open your profile, and it appears in search results.

Hidden removes you from view. Your profile does not show in search results, and nobody can find it. People you contacted before can still read and reply to you, but they see your profile as Profile Unavailable.

Hidden is a real pause. It suits a man who wants to step away without deleting his account.

Click or tap your profile photo or the Profile icon on desktop. On mobile web and in the app, use the gear icon. Then choose Profile Visibility.

It is a one-minute change you can make and undo whenever you like.

Private Mode is a paid add-on. With it on, only the members you choose to contact can see your profile. You become visible to a new person by sending her a message, a Like or a Super Like.

On other members' profiles, you will see whether they can or cannot see you. To change visibility for one member, select Unblock or Hide and Block.

This is the closest Match gets to selective privacy. You decide who sees your profile by deciding who you reach out to first.

Match says it has no feature to selectively hide or show your profile to specific members. If you want to keep a particular person from seeing it, the tools are the ones it lists: blocking, hiding your profile and removing profiles from your search results.

Blocking a member stops her from messaging you, and her profile no longer appears anywhere on the site for you. It is a firm way to deal with one person without changing how everyone else sees you.

If you are dating openly and want to be found, stay Visible. Being found is how most conversations begin, and a man hidden from search is invisible to the women who would have written to him.

If a coworker, a client or an ex is on the site and you would rather not be seen by them, Private Mode or blocking fits. If you need a break, Hidden does it.

Be clear about the trade. A profile that fewer people can see gets fewer visits. On a site built around searching, a Hidden or Private profile misses the women who browse and find you, which is a large source of first contact for many men.

Private Mode puts all the work on you. You do the reaching out, and she only sees you when you do. That suits a man who is happy to write first and is selective. It does not suit one who hopes to be found.

So decide what you are protecting and from whom. If it is one person, block her. If it is your general privacy, accept the smaller audience on purpose.

If you stay Visible, every member who opens your profile reads the same page. Make it work for you.

Lead with a clear, recent photo of your face in daylight. Add a few more that show different settings, so the set looks like a real life. Write a few plain lines about what you do and what you want, with one specific detail that only you would write.

a dating coach says an online page attracts whatever it announces. A vague page gets vague interest, and a clear one filters in the women who want what you want.

Privacy settings protect you from the wrong audience, but they cannot create the right one. Once you are visible to the women you would like to meet, the conversation depends on how you write to them.

Keep it short and specific, aiming at a plan in about four to seven exchanges, as a dating coach's method does. Then move to a number and a day. A private profile and a good message together do more than either alone.