Where to Find Your eHarmony Personality Profile

If you have Premium, open the dropdown next to your photo and choose My Compatibility Quiz Results, where you can read the whole report. You can also download a copy from Data & Settings, under Personality Profile. It comes with Premium, so on a free membership there is no report to find.

Log in and open the dropdown next to your photo. Choose My Compatibility Quiz Results, and the report is there to read.

Give it a proper read rather than a skim. Most men open it once, feel either flattered or slightly exposed, and never look at it again. That wastes it. Few things on the site describe you in this much detail, and the detail is exactly what you need when you sit down to write about yourself.

If you would rather keep it, go to Data & Settings and find Personality Profile, where you can download the report.

A saved copy is handy for the writing work below. You can read it side by side with your own answers instead of flicking between screens, and you can mark it up. Underline the lines that sound most like you. Cross out the ones that do not. What survives is your raw material.

eHarmony calls it an in-depth report. It covers three things: your personality, your communication style, and the kind of person you suit best.

Each part does a different job. The personality section is material for what you write about yourself. The communication section tells you how you are likely to come across when you write to a woman. The compatibility section describes the woman your photos and your words should be aimed at.

The communication section is worth a second look before you write to anyone. If it describes you as reserved, your first notes to women may read cooler than you mean them to. So add a little warmth on purpose. Ask a real question about her, or say what on her page caught your eye. If it describes you as direct, keep that, and just check that you are asking as much as you are telling.

The trap is copying the report's words onto your page. A report describes people in general terms, and general terms are exactly what a dating coach says fade into the background. According to their own answers, every man on the site is kind, loyal and curious.

Use the report as a list of prompts instead. If it says you are curious, do not write that you are curious. Write about the thing your curiosity made you do: the pottery class you signed up for on a whim, the history podcast you have been working through on your commute. If it calls you steady and dependable, mention that you still organize the yearly trip with the friends you have had since school. She reads the story and draws the conclusion herself, which is far more convincing than being told.

Most members answer the same questions. The man who gets noticed is the one whose answers could not belong to anyone else. The report can help with that, because it points at the parts of your personality that come through most strongly.

Pick the two or three traits it describes most vividly, and make sure your photos and your answers each show them at least once. If the report says you are sociable, a photo of you manning the grill at a friend's barbecue does more than a sentence claiming it. If it says you are thoughtful, one specific answer about a book that changed your mind does the job.

The section on who you are most compatible with is worth reading slowly, especially if it describes a woman different from the one you usually go for.

You do not have to agree with it. But if the report says you suit someone calm and home-loving, and your photos are all loud bars and late nights, somebody is going to be disappointed on the first date. Either the photos are showing a life you do not really live, or the report has you wrong, and it is worth an honest minute to decide which.

a dating coach's point about writing applies here too: you attract what you describe. If you want a long-term relationship, your page should read like it comes from a man who wants one. The report gives you a head start on describing that man in your own words.