When Should You Send Photos to a Tinder Match?

Not inside Tinder. By Tinder's own account its chat does not take photos, so the only pictures she sees are the ones already on your profile. Send one later, by text, only after you have her number and a plan, and only an ordinary one. Anything she did not ask for stays unsent.

Tinder's help pages say you cannot attach a photo to a chat directly. The app points you to a Bitmoji or a GIF if you want something visual in a first line.

That settles the first half of your question. There is no moment inside the app when a photo is the right thing to send, because the app does not let you. Whatever she knows about how you look comes from the set on your page.

It also removes a temptation. A lot of men have hurt a promising chat with a picture that was badly judged or badly timed. On Tinder that option does not exist.

Because she cannot ask you for another picture, your set has to answer her questions before she thinks of them.

Lead with a clear, recent photo of your face in daylight, alone. Follow it with one that shows something you really do, and one where you look comfortable around other people. Vary the places and the shirts, so the set reads as several weeks of your life and not one afternoon.

Every photo that leaves her wondering, such as one where she cannot tell which man is you, is one she cannot clear up. Fix those on the page, not in a chat.

Sometimes a woman will say she wants more photos. That is interest, and you do not have to rush to another app to satisfy it.

Keep your reply light and move toward a plan. Offering to show her the rest in person, over a drink on a named evening, is a better answer than sending a stack of pictures. A woman who is keen says yes to the plan.

Treat the reverse with suspicion. A match who pushes you toward another app or a link within her first few lines is far more likely to be a scam than a keen woman. So is one who asks for your pictures before you have said much. Report her in the app and send nothing.

Once you have swapped numbers and made a plan, photos can come up naturally in ordinary texting. A picture of the bar you chose, the dog she asked about, or the dish you are cooking tonight all fit.

a dating coach's texting advice is to keep texts short and to treat texting as a way to reach a call or a date, not a place to share your life. A photo that moves toward the date is fine. A photo that replaces the date is a detour.

Use a few simple tests before you send one:

• Did she ask, or is it clearly welcome?
• Would you be comfortable if she showed it to a friend?
• Does it make the plan feel closer, or does it just add noise?

If any answer is no, leave it out.

If her worry is whether you look like your pictures, there is a stronger answer than sending more of them. a dating coach suggests a quick video call before the date. It screens out the women whose accounts do not match the real person, and it means she turns up already knowing your face and your voice.

It also takes the pressure off a stack of photos. Five minutes of an easy conversation tells her more than five more pictures, and it makes the plan feel real. Ask once she has said yes to meeting, and keep it short.

Never send anything sexual that she has not clearly asked for, and think hard even when she has. A woman who has agreed to a drink with you can change her mind in one text, and a picture she did not want is the quickest way to give her a reason.

The same applies to anything you would not want kept and shared. You do not control a photo once it is on someone else's phone.

Do not send a verification selfie to a match either. If Tinder asks for one, it goes to Tinder through the app's own check, never to another person.

The better use of your effort is the page she saw first, including the words under the pictures. A line in your bio about what you actually do gives her a reason to picture you before the date. If you are worried she will not like how you look in person, the fix is a set that looks like you.

Make sure the lead photo is recent, that the lighting is natural, and that nothing in the set is more than a couple of years old. A woman who arrives at the bar and sees the man from the photos starts the date comfortable. A woman who sees a man ten years older than the picture starts it disappointed, and no later photo can undo that.

Save your own pictures for the plan, not the chat. By the time you meet, she should already know your face well enough to spot you across the room.