What to Do When a Woman Laughs at You

Do not react right away. First work out which kind of laugh it was, because a laugh after an approach most often means surprise, nerves or amusement, not mockery. If it was friendly, smile and keep going. If it was unkind, stay calm, say one polite line and leave. When you cold approach women in person in the field, you will be laughed at sometimes, and neither response needs to hurt.

A friendly laugh comes with open eyes and a smile, often toward you. It means she found something funny or charming. A nervous laugh is short and a little high. It means she was caught off guard, and often she does not know what to say. An unkind laugh is brief and dismissive, usually with a look at a friend and no warmth in her face.

Men tend to hear all three as the third. That is partly the ego working, and partly the fact that when you are nervous, everything sounds like criticism.

Grin back and use it. "I was hoping that would be funny" is a perfectly good response. She just told you the conversation is relaxed, so lean into it and ask her your next question.

This is a green light, like the positive reaction a dating coach describes after a direct open. He says that is the ideal case, because she is already receptive.

Slow down and take the pressure off. Smile, lower your pace and say something warm: "I know, it's random to get a hello out of nowhere. I'm Dan." Naming the oddness helps her relax.

a dating coach notes that it is often harder for the woman than for you, because she is unprepared and carries more social pressure. A nervous laugh is her way of buying time.

Keep your face calm and your voice even. Do not argue, do not retaliate and do not ask what is funny. One line is enough: "Fair enough. Have a good one." Then walk away at an ordinary pace.

Walking away well is a win. A man who stays friendly while being laughed at looks secure, and a man who snaps looks like exactly what she was laughing at.

Check what caused it. Was your opener unusual in a way that you can explain? Was your voice shaky? Did you stand too close? Did you say something that sounded like a line? Fix one small thing and move on. Do not decide that you are the kind of man women laugh at.

a dating coach describes how the ego works in these moments: the loss is "not a tangible loss," it is a loss to your self-esteem. Once you see that, the sting shrinks, because a stranger's laugh costs you nothing you cannot replace.

After a laugh that hurt, many men tense up for the next hello. That tension is the thing that causes real trouble, because it changes your voice, eye contact and body language, and she senses it. a dating coach says that bracing for a bad result tends to produce one.

Use the same trick he does. Set a low bar for the next set. A hello and a real question count, and you are done.

Being laughed at is one of the situations that scares men away from approaching, and the fear weakens only with repetition. A coach next to you in the field can tell you what kind of laugh it was and what you did well, which is information you cannot get alone.

At a Cold Approach Bootcamp, you get live coaching on every approach and feedback after every set. It runs in Miami and New York. Group is three consecutive days at three students per coach, and Private is one, two or three days one-on-one, each day with two four-hour blocks. There is no skill floor, and you leave with a written practice plan.