What Is the Cheerleader Effect, and How Does It Help You Meet Women in Groups?

The cheerleader effect is the habit of the human eye to rate each person in a group as more attractive than the same person standing alone. A set of women walking into a bar looks better, as a set, than any one of them would look on her own. For a man who approaches women, the effect explains why groups catch your eye. It also reminds you to size up the one woman you like before you walk over, and to ignore the glow of the whole table.

When we see several faces together, the brain tends to blend them into an average and then judges each face against it. Small flaws look smaller, and the whole picture gets a boost. Researchers who tested this found that people rated the same faces higher when they appeared in a group photo than when they appeared alone.

You do not need the science to feel it. You have probably seen a group of women across a room and thought they were all stunning, then watched one walk over to the bar and thought, "She is nice, but not what I expected." The effect is a trick of the eye, and a harmless one, as long as you know it exists.

Most women you meet at night, and a good number you meet in the day, are in a group of two, three or four. This is the setting for the cheerleader effect, and it has three practical consequences.

You may pick the wrong woman. The group looks great, so you walk over, and then find that the woman you were drawn to is not the one you like once you hear her talk. Give yourself a moment to look at each person separately before you choose.

The whole set is judging you. In a group, every woman has a vote, so you need to be at ease with all of them. A man who talks to only one of three leaves two women quietly working against him.

You get social proof for free. If one woman in the group takes to you and laughs, the others tend to follow. Women read each other's reactions as much as they read yours.

The point is not to exploit an illusion. It is to be a sensible man who is comfortable around a group.

1. Choose before you walk. Look at each woman on her own for a few seconds. Who do you actually want to talk to? Decide, then approach.
2. Open with the whole group. A friendly hello to everyone sets a relaxed tone. You can narrow your focus later, naturally.
3. Win the friend, too. The woman you did not choose has the same influence on the evening as the woman you did. Ask her a question or tease her lightly. A friend who likes you is an ally.
4. Be quick and clear. A group has a short attention span and a lot going on. A short opener and a bit of humor works far better than a long story.
5. Know when to pull one aside. After a few minutes of group fun, you can say you want to hear more from one woman and step away with her for a minute. Do it warmly, and make sure the others are fine with it.

If you want to meet women in groups, you go where they gather: lounges and bars where people stand in small sets, busy restaurant patios, shopping streets on weekends, and city events. Groups are easier to approach in a relaxed setting than in a packed club, because you can hear one another.

Daytime has groups too. Two friends on a lunch break or a pair walking through a park are common, and they are often more open than a tired woman alone, because a friend gives her a feeling of safety.

• Talking to only one woman. The group leaves you out.
• Ignoring the friend who seems bored. She will pull the woman you like away.
• Telling the one you chose that her friends are less attractive. Never do this, even as a joke.
• Holding the group for too long. If a conversation of ten minutes goes nowhere, thank them and leave.
• Believing the glow. If you go home with a number from a woman you did not actually like, you have wasted her time and yours.

A group approach is a skill of its own, and it is one most men avoid because of the audience. You are speaking in front of several people and your nerves can double. The way to get past it is repetition, with someone who can tell you what the group saw.

In a Cold Approach Bootcamp, you practice approaching women alone and with friends around. It runs in Miami and New York, two four-hour blocks each training day, with live coaching on every approach and feedback after every set. Daygame and night game are mixed to suit you, so you meet groups at a cafe and in a lounge. Group is three consecutive days at 3:1 student to coach, and Private is fully 1-on-1 for one, two or three days. You leave with a written practice plan covering what to keep doing.

Is the cheerleader effect real?

Yes. Studies have found that people rate the same faces higher in a group than alone. It is an effect of perception, not of the women themselves.

Is it better to approach a group or a single woman?

Both are worth learning. Single women give a calmer conversation. Groups give more energy and an audience. A man who can do both has twice as many chances.

What if the woman I like is with a group of men?

Read the mood. If they are friends, a friendly hello is fine. If it looks like a date, leave them be.