Should You Double Text a Hinge Match?

Once, yes, if the message adds something. A second message to a Hinge match who has gone quiet is fine when it gives her a plan, a detail or a new topic to answer. It is a problem when it only asks why she has not replied. After one follow-up, stop and put your attention on someone who is answering.

Double texting means sending another message before she has answered your last one. It does not include two sentences you send a few seconds apart as one thought. a dating coach draws that line himself: the gap in time is what makes it a double text.

On Hinge the pause is often long, because a match costs her one tap and she may open the app a couple of times a week. A quiet chat is rarely a rejection. It is usually a woman with other chats and a busy week.

My reason is blunt. When a second text arrives after a pause, it can read as if you sent the first, stewed over it and sent another. That looks needy, and it draws attention to the first message, which was probably fine.

The messages that hurt most are the ones about her silence. "Did you see my message?", "I guess you are busy" and "Are you mad at me?" all ask her to calm you down. Her reply then controls your mood, and she can feel that.

Give it a day or two before you read anything into it, and a few days before you decide the chat is over. A woman who checks Hinge twice a week will take that long without meaning anything by it.

Do not check the chat six times a day to see if she has read it. You gather no information that way, and you feel worse.

After the quiet days, send one short message that moves things forward. It should do one of three jobs:

• Make a plan: "I am going to the place near the park on Thursday at 7. Come for one drink?"
• Return to something she said: "Did you ever try that ramen place you mentioned?"
• Add something new: a short, specific line about your week that she can react to.

Compare that with "Hey, did you get my message?" The first three give her something to say. The last one points at the gap and asks her to explain it.

If a date is already planned and the day arrives with no word, My view is that one more message before the time passes makes sense. The earlier text may have been buried, and a reminder doubles your chance of the date happening. After that he lets it go without complaint.

If she answered you slowly last time and warmly, wait longer than you would with a stranger. She has shown she replies.

If you have asked her to meet twice already and she has not offered a day, do not send a third request. You gave her a clear chance, and her silence is information.

If she unmatched you, you cannot send anything, and you should not look for her elsewhere to ask why.

If she ignores the follow-up, stop. A second follow-up turns a quiet chat into a needy one. A third makes you the man she remembers for the wrong reasons.

Stopping is not a trick. It frees your time. A man who sends one good follow-up and then moves on to three other conversations has more chances of a date than one who watches a single chat for a week.

My rule for replying is to answer like a man with a life: an hour or a few hours later is normal, and half a day is the outer edge. Do not match her two-day gaps to the minute, because then the chat dies of old age.

Answer at a normal pace, and keep a few conversations going at once so no single one carries your mood. When one of them is warm, suggest a place and a day. The plan is what turns a good chat into a date.