Is New Year's Eve a Good First Date?

Sometimes. It is better than Valentine's Day because the night has no rule that two people have to be a couple, but it still has a midnight, and that is the problem. If she asks, say yes and keep the plan loose. If you are choosing, offer a different night.

A first date is there to make her want a second one. Midnight adds a second job, which is what happens when the clock strikes twelve.

The kiss is the part men fixate on. At midnight on New Year's Eve, the room expects a kiss from everyone, and that expectation puts you under pressure to take something you have not earned.

The other issue is length. A normal first date can run for an hour and a half. A New Year's Eve date has a built-in end at midnight, which is a long time to stay in a conversation with someone you just met.

She suggested it. A woman who asks you to join her on the night has already decided she is interested. Take it.

You are both going to the same party. A party with her friends is the easiest version, because there are other people in the room, other conversations, and no pressure to fill three hours alone.

You have been talking for a while. If you've messaged for weeks and the chat is easy, the night is less of a first date than a second one.

If none of those fit, offer another night.

If you matched a week ago and she hasn't met you yet, the night will hold too much. You will not know how to handle her friends, how she handles crowds, or how she drinks.

Try this: "New Year's Eve is a lot for a first meeting. How about the week before, and if it goes well we can decide about New Year's Eve." You've asked for a date, shown that you thought about it, and left the door open.

Keep it in two parts, and make the first part short.

Start with an early drink or dinner somewhere close to where you both are going next. Have one or two spots you can move to during the date. Plan it so the locations are logistically in your favor, close to home. Even if there's an awesome rooftop bar 30 minutes away, forget it. The closer one is better.

Then go to a party, bar or gathering where there are other people. You can leave if the night is flat, and you can stay if it's good. The room does the work of keeping the evening lively.

Failing to plan is planning to fail. Pick the first place and the second place a few days ahead, and check the booking.

Do not plan for it. Let it come.

If the evening has been good and she is close to you when the countdown ends, a kiss will feel natural. If she steps back or turns to her friends, smile and say "happy new year." You haven't lost anything.

If the night was good because of your company, the midnight question answers itself.

Do not book an expensive set menu to impress her. If it goes badly you are stuck, and if it goes well she may feel that she owes you something.

Do not get drunk. A drink or two is fine. Whatever else you do on a first date, you want her to remember you as someone who was easy to be around and in control of himself.

Do not turn the night into a conversation about resolutions or the past year. If she raises it, answer in a sentence and ask her something. Heavy talk at midnight stays with people.

Plenty of men spend the night alone and feel worse for it. The fix is to be in a room with people, even if none of them is a date. Go to a friend's party, ask to bring a friend, or head to a bar with a decent crowd.

You don't win by being perfect. You win by deciding. Committing. Putting yourself in awkward situations and figuring it out.

Talk to people, and if you meet someone you like, ask her out for the week after. A date in the first weekend of the new year is a better first date than New Year's Eve ever was.

If she asks, say yes and keep it loose. If you are asking, pick a different night. In both cases, plan the first and second spot, leave midnight alone, and aim for the next date.