How to Approach a Woman at the Park

Pick a woman who is sitting or standing still and clearly has time, walk over from the front, and open with one honest, relaxed sentence. A park is one of the better daytime places for this, because people there are not rushing anywhere. Leave alone anyone who is exercising, wearing headphones with her eyes closed, or with a group.

Do it calmly and be ready to leave if the answer is no. That is the whole approach.

a dating coach names parks, outdoor malls and beaches as his favorite daygame venues. His reason is that women there are "not in a hurry to get somewhere." They are not on their way to a meeting. They are having a good time, they are relaxed, and they have some time in which they might meet someone.

The setting helps in other ways too. A park is open, so a short conversation does not block anyone. It is quieter than a crowded street, with fewer interruptions in the middle of a sentence. And many people are sitting, which is the most favorable position for an approach.

a dating coach's guidance on whom to choose is simple and it fits a park perfectly.

• A woman by herself is more favorable than one with a group of friends.
• A woman sitting down is more favorable than one who is walking.
• A woman standing still is more favorable than one on the move.

So in a park, the best candidate is a woman sitting alone on a bench or a patch of grass, relaxed, not absorbed in something. You may approach others, and a dating coach says all approaches are doable. But if you can choose, choose the likelier one.

Use common sense, and err on the side of leaving her be.

• A runner in the middle of a run. She is not available and you cannot keep up.
• A woman reading with full attention, or with headphones on and her eyes closed.
• Someone with a child, or who looks tired or upset.
• A woman who is clearly waiting for someone.

If she looks like she wants to be left alone, she probably does. A man who respects that gets a better reputation than one who pushes, and the sample of women who want to talk is large enough that you lose nothing.

Keep it honest and short. You do not need a clever line. You need a reason you stopped and a way for her to answer easily.

• "Hey, I know I am interrupting, but I saw you sitting here and wanted to say hello."
• "Sorry to bother you. You looked relaxed and I thought I would introduce myself."
• A comment about what you both see: the dog beyond the fence, the weather, the book she is holding. A situational opener works because it explains why you are talking.

a dating coach says that attitude matters more than lines. Smile, keep your voice calm, and make the first thirty seconds easy.

1. Walk over from the front. Do not come up behind her.
2. Stop a little to the side, at a comfortable distance. Standing right over a seated woman is intimidating. A slight distance or a lowered posture helps.
3. Say your opener, then listen. Let her answer before you go on.
4. Read her. If she turns toward you, asks questions and stays, continue. If she gives short answers and looks away, thank her and go.

If it goes well, you can suggest a number, or go straight to a short walk or a coffee. a dating coach also advises staying about five minutes after you exchange contact, so you do not look like a man who took a number and ran.

If she is not interested, say "Nice to meet you, enjoy the sun" and walk away. Do not sit on the next bench and watch. Go somewhere else in the park so she is not made to feel watched.

A clean exit is a good outcome. You approached, you were polite, and you took the answer well.

The tricky part of a park is judgment. When is a woman relaxed, and when is she private? Where do you stand? How do you sound unhurried? These are things a coach beside you can see and correct.

On a Cold Approach Bootcamp the daytime coaching happens in streets and cafes, and evenings in bars and lounges, with your coach beside you on every approach. The Bootcamp runs in Miami and New York. If you are in New York, our list of the best parks in New York to meet women is a good place to start.