What It Means When a Woman Looks Down After Eye Contact

A girl who looks down right after meeting your eyes is usually breaking the look because it felt like a lot. That can mean she is shy, flustered or interested and not sure what to do with it. It can also mean she is uncomfortable. The look down is not the answer. What she does in the five seconds afterward is.

You see the same moment, a look and then eyes dropping, in very different situations. The way to separate them is to keep watching, calmly, and see how it ends.

She looks down, smiles a little and glances back up. This is the clearest good sign. The smile means the look was welcome, and the return glance means she wants to see if you are still there. Many shy women do exactly this.

She looks down, then keeps finding you in the room. Each glance is brief, but it happens again and again. She is interested and nervous. A friendly hello would be welcome.

She looks down and turns her body away. She shifts toward her friends, picks up her phone or moves out of your line of sight. That is a polite no. Leave it.

She looks down and her face goes blank or tight. There is no smile, no return glance, and her shoulders pull in. She did not enjoy being looked at. Look away yourself, and give her room.

There are reasons that have nothing to do with you.

• Direct eye contact with a stranger is an intense act. A lot of people break it in under two seconds, the same way they would step back from someone standing too close.
• She may have felt caught. If she was looking at you first and you looked back, the look down can be a flash of embarrassment.
• Some women are simply shy, and dropping the eyes is how they handle any strong look from anyone.

So a single look down tells you very little. a dating coach makes a related point about body language: no single gesture decides anything, and a woman takes in everything you do and adds it up. Read her the same way.

If she smiled, or kept glancing back, do not wait for a perfect moment. A direct approach after two or three looks tends to go better than hoping she crosses the room.

Keep it relaxed and give her room to answer. Smile, walk over at a normal pace, and say something simple:

• "I think we've been doing the polite staring thing. I'm Sam."
• "Hi. You looked up the same moment I did. I figured I should say hello."
• "I'm going to say hi before one of us has to pretend to read the menu."

Use your own name and say it calmly. Then stop talking and let her answer. If she smiles and replies, ask her something about where you both are and keep it easy. If she gives a short answer and looks away again, that is your cue to say "nice to meet you" and go.

a dating coach's advice on making eye contact is to hold it, smile and say something. His version is to not look away as though you were caught doing something wrong, and to do something with the look instead of waiting for it to turn into a conversation on its own.

• Do not stare until she looks up again. Waiting for her eyes to come back to you turns a friendly look into pressure.
• Do not follow her. If she moves, she has told you what she wants.
• Do not read too much into one glance. If she looked down once and never again, move on without feeling rejected.
• Do not point at it. "Why did you look away?" puts her on the spot.

Sometimes a woman in your usual spot, a class, a gym or a coffee shop, does this every time you see her. That usually means shyness or nerves, and it can mean she is interested. Say hello in a casual, no-pressure way, the way you would greet a neighbor, and see how she responds over a few meetings. A relaxed hello gives her a chance to warm up. If she answers politely and nothing more, take that as your answer.

A look down after eye contact is a pause, not a verdict. Wait for what comes after it: a smile or another glance means you can say hello, and a turned body or a tight face means leave her be.