You don't need a hobby or a trip to have a strong set. You need a clear face shot, a candid full-body shot, a photo with friends, a pet or work shot, a personality shot, and one photo of you doing something you can talk about.
Your photos decide whether a woman bothers with your bio. If the pictures don't land, she never gets that far.
A good photo does at least one of three things:
- Shows something about you that women want
- Screens for the kind of woman you want
- Signals social proof so you look wanted by other people
The six shots you can build from an ordinary life
One example lineup of six: a medium shot with your face clearly visible, a hobby shot, a group shot, a full-body candid, a humorous or personality shot, and a dog. Plan the categories first and make each photo fall into a different one, so no two look alike.
1. A clear face shot, and not a selfie. Selfies are a bad look for men, and so are photos where she can't tell who you are, like you facing away or hidden. Ask a friend to take it.
2. A full-body candid. It shows your clothes and build. If you're doing it yourself, record a short video of yourself walking, then pick a relaxed frame. The stiff, posed look is the one to avoid.
3. A photo with friends. A group shot shows you have a social life. Use three or more people, and make sure she can tell which one is you. If you want a clean look, cover your friends' faces with stickers.
4. A pet or work shot. A dog makes you look responsible and likable. If you don't have one, a natural shot of you at work works for a man who's more serious than goofy. Think "not a mug shot": you in the middle of the job, not staring at the camera.
5. A personality shot. If you're goofy, don't be afraid to post silly photos. If you're more serious, a standard photo is fine. The point is that she can tell which one you are.
6. One shot of you doing something. This is the one men think they can't have. A hobby shot is just you doing something she can ask about. It doesn't have to be impressive.
What to do if you really have nothing
Don't invent a hobby you don't have. Photograph something you could do this weekend and might keep doing:
- Cook a dinner and have a friend take a shot of you at the stove.
- Go for a hike or any outdoor walk, since a dramatic situation makes a one-time outing photogenic.
- Try something new, like a class or a sport you've never played, and have someone take a candid.
You're not faking it. You're giving her an opener, and you're giving yourself something to say on the date.
Match the photos to the woman you want
Choose pictures that show the kind of life you want to share. If you want a hiking partner, use one where you're active. If you want someone to visit museums with, use one from a gallery. A skydiving photo suits an adventurous woman and not a bookworm.
Some basics so the shot works:
- Outdoors, with a simple background, usually looks more natural than a bare room.
- Wear a solid color that contrasts with the background. Busy prints pull the eye off your face.
- Use a natural smile and an engaged look. Forced posing shows.
- Good lighting matters. A poor photo makes you look worse than you are.
- Skip heavy filters.
- If you can, ask a friend with a good eye for help, especially a woman who's a friend.
Where to find ideas to copy
Instagram is the one site you need for photo ideas, and the same method works for any dating app.
Follow the money. Start with men who sell courses online. They spend real time and money on photos. The catch is that studio-perfect shots look fake, so look for the ones that feel candid.
Follow the status and the looks. Celebrities, influencers, fashion models and IG models care about what they post. Check the tagged section on their profiles too, because friends and photographers tag them, and that's often where the best candid photos are.
Search by keyword. If you want to show a hobby or activity, search for it directly or try the hashtag version.
Search venues and locations. Check whether people are taking photos at a place and tagging it. That gives you real-world examples to copy.
Go down the rabbit hole. If you find a video, open the account and see whether it has photos too. Don't skip slideshows, because the strongest shot isn't always the first. Look at who the account follows, then check those accounts. If you want a guy in a suit, search tailors, suit stores, and fashion models.
When in doubt… Use photos like the ones in the Photo Bank.
We picked them for a reason. They have a strong track record for getting good matches, and plenty of profiles have already proven they work.
Google Image Search. If you find a concept you like but want it in a different style, drop that photo into Google Image Search. You should get similar photos from other people's Instagrams.
What to skip
A group photo where she has to work to figure out which one is you doesn't help, and neither does a photo with your face hidden. Keep it to the shots above, and add a new one each time you do something new.
Written by Matthew Stevens, Co-Founder & Head Coach. More than half a decade coaching men across the US and worldwide.
Everything here comes out of real coaching work: the approaches, dates, texts and profiles we go through with the men we coach.




















