Does Bumble BFF Work for Guys?

Bumble BFF is Bumble's friend-finding mode, and its own pages say BFF mode is closing down. So before you plan around it, open the app and check whether it is still offered to you. Even when a mode like this exists, it is a poor place for a man to count on. Friends form where you see the same people again and again, and a swipe app does not give you that.

Bumble sells itself as a place to find love and meaningful connections. BFF was a side of the app aimed at friendship, so a man could look for people without it meaning a date.

The idea is sound. A man who has moved cities has a real gap. So does one whose old friends have drifted into marriage and kids. An app that lists people who also want friends looks like an easy way to fill it.

The trouble is that a friend app needs a lot of people near you who want the same thing, and it needs them to reply. That is a lot to ask of a feature that was never the main product.

A man looking for friends on a swipe app faces two problems at once.

First, a stranger may not read your message the way you meant it. A man's note to a woman on a friend feature can be taken as a pickup attempt, even when it is honest. Your wording has to make your purpose obvious.

Second, friendship is slow. A match is two people agreeing to talk. A friend is the result of dozens of meetings. An app can make the first step easier, but it cannot give you the repeats.

If you can see a friend mode in your app, use it with clear, plain wording. Say what you like to do. "Looking for people to hike or play pool with" is better than "looking for friends".

Keep your first meeting small and public: a coffee, a walk or a game, not a dinner. Do not use it as a dating route, because a woman who joined for a friend who ends up on a date feels tricked, and a man who hides a wish to date is not being honest.

If the person turns out to be someone you want more from, tell her later, say it plainly and take no for an answer.

a dating coach has pointed to running clubs, board game groups and speed dating as places where people are meeting offline again. Add climbing gyms, classes, volunteer groups and local sports leagues.

What these have in common is repetition. You see the same faces every week, so a stranger becomes a familiar person without any one conversation having to be brilliant. That is how most friendships grow.

If you want a quick start, pick one activity you would do alone anyway and turn up every week for two months. Say hello to the same two or three people. Suggest a coffee after the third time.

A man can also make female friends, and it works best when he is relaxed, specific and normal. Do not turn every conversation into flirting just in case, and do not treat every woman as a future girlfriend or a minefield.

A friend who is a woman can also introduce you to other people, which is one more reason to treat her as a person and not as a prospect.

Before you look for strangers, look at the list you already have. An old college friend, a former coworker and a cousin all count. A message that says you were thinking of them and suggests a specific Saturday takes two minutes, and it often works better than a month of chats with people you have never met.

The people around you shape who you meet, and a man with a few good friends has more to do and more people to be introduced to. Rebuild that base first, then add fresh faces from the clubs and classes above.

Do not spend money on a paid tier of a swipe app to find friends. A paid tier shows you more people, and what a friendship needs is time, not reach.

Does Bumble BFF work for guys? It is not a reliable plan, and Bumble has said the mode is closing down. A man gets more friends from showing up to the same place every week. Use any friend mode that exists as a small extra, be clear about what you want and keep your meetings public and low pressure.