What Makes You Attractive?
Write down ten reasons you’re the kind of man a woman should choose.
Example:
I take care of myself physically I’m highly ambitious and motivated I will take on the responsibility to provide I will take on the responsibility to lead I have discipline and self-control I will mentor a woman to do business with me I love to travel I will protect my woman I want to give more than I take I enjoy the pursuit of knowledge
What Kind of Connection Do You Want?
Write down ten nonphysical things you want in a woman.
Example:
Knows how to cook Is organized and cleanly Isn’t shy Dresses stylishly but modestly Doesn’t like to party Can keep up with my physical activity Financially ambitious Artistically ambitious Doesn’t spend too much time on her makeup Looks after her family
Attraction
This is where you put up strong photos that show the ten things that make you attractive.
This is also where you start swiping on women you find physically attractive.
Photos are not the whole game. You can qualify a woman on the things you want through text, a phone call, or on the date.
Open
You’re trying to get her talking so you can learn more.
Frames
I’m interested. How do I get her talking?
Let’s start a conversation.
Formats
“Hey [NAME], fingers crossed you’re as [adjective] in person as you seem in your photos.”
“You seem [adjective]…”
[Cold Read]
Open loop
Trick: Double message. Let the second message create intrigue so she opens it.
Lines
“Hey Julia, fingers crossed you’re as adventurous in person as you seem in your photos. 🤞🏼”
“You seem kind of mysterious…”
“You have a very mischievous look to you.”
“My type :)”
“You seem elegant and innocent…
…but I’m just not sure if we’ll get along.”
Establish Emotional Relevance
Your goal here is to make her feel something when she replies.
The easiest way is to keep it fun and flirty.
Once the conversation feels fun and flirty, she has to decide whether to keep going or shut it down.
When she starts meeting you on a man-to-woman level, move to the next step.
Until she is replying positively or matching your vibe, do not move forward.
Shit-tests are fine, but you need to pass them. Do not escalate because she throws one at you.
Subtlety says you’re not fully in yet.
Specificity says you mean it.
Delivery shows you’ve done this before.
Frames
Do I like you?
Will we get along?
Are we fit to be a couple?
Can this go beyond conversation?
Formats
Call out the current situation in a flirty way
[Cold Read - Push/Pull]
Disqualify
Future hypothetical - Push/Pull
Lines
“Is this the part where we start flirting just to find out that we’re no good for each other?”
“You have such an adorable look to you… but part of me feels like you might be trouble.”
“Why do I have a strange feeling that you’re going to be bad news for me?”
“I could see myself on a roadtrip with you… except you’d probably get us lost and stranded if I let you drive.”
Establish Connection
Now you want some real connection so the interaction can keep moving.
Connection does not have to mean you have common interests.
The best connection is when she starts qualifying herself to you.
She wants to impress you, or she clears a challenge you put in front of her.
Do not move past this stage until you have a reason to keep going.
Sometimes she qualifies herself once and that’s enough. Other times, you need her to do it more than once.
You can use this stage to float a date idea, but don’t lock yourself into it. You’re testing whether she accepts the idea of doing something together.
The ten questions above give you material to talk about here.
Frames
What do I like about her? What do I not like about her?
Is she worth continuing to talk to?
Could we do something together? Could we spend time together?
Formats
Figure something out about her that is beyond the surface
“We can [activity], but [condition]”
[Condition], [Activity]
Challenge her - Push/Pull
Lines
“So, what do you do for fun when you’re not flirting with cute boys?”
“We can play some basketball together, but I don’t want to break your ankles :)”
“Part of me wants to explore cool museums with you, but you have to promise me we won’t having boring conversations.”
“I think I like you so far… but tell me… are you one of those girls that need her next 10 years planned out to the second or do you have some spontaneity in you?”
Moving to Another Platform
You do this for a few reasons:
To move the interaction into a more private setting, in this case digital To raise her investment To keep other guys out of the way by separating yourself
In the United States and Canada, the normal move is from the app to the phone.
In some countries, people use other apps more than text, like WhatsApp, WeChat, LINE, or Telegram.
Sometimes, if your IG is strong and makes you look high value, you can move her to Instagram.
Frames
I’m willing to take this interaction further
Formats
Exchange numbers
Reciprocity
Do you have [app]?
Lines
“Let’s exchange numbers.”
“My number is XXX. What’s yours?”
Do you have IG?
Add More Connection
Once you switch platforms, the interaction still has to move forward. It can’t just hold steady.
Things move up or they move down.
Make your flirting more specific to her and show that you’re actually evaluating her.
Again, use the ten things you wrote down.
Frames
Why should I keep talking to her?
Is there something I should know about her?
Can this move further?
Formats
Cold Read - Push/Pull - More Specific
Disqualify - More Specific
Potential Date Idea - Push/Pull - More Specific
Exaggeration
Evaluation Statement
Fun and Deep Questions
Lines
“You’re so sweet and innocent right now so I worry about the monster that comes out when you’re mad at me :)”
“I was really liking you until you said that :(”
“There’s this one coffee spot we can check out, but I’m warning you… I’ll be judging what you order.”
“Okay, so you’re a nurse who likes to read and figure skate. I never thought I’d get married to a girl so soon.”
“Honestly, I’m relieved that you’re very motivated. I’m the type to kick us out of bed at 5am in the morning.”
“Wow, I would have never imagined a dainty girl like you being a police officer. Curious - what made you want to do that?”
Phone Call
This is the good part. You start building something that feels like a relationship before you even meet.
Do this well, and your first date will hit hard.
The goal of the call is to make the interaction feel more real, find deeper connection, and use that to set up a date.
Asking for the call is simple.
If she’s replying fast and the messages are flying, just call her.
Some girls won’t want FaceTime, and even fewer won’t want a normal voice call. It’s your call whether you keep going without knowing what she really looks like 🤷♂️
Planning a Date
Whether you do this on the call or over text, the point is to meet because you have a reason to meet: you feel real to each other and there’s connection.
Without that, setting a date gets harder because she may agree and then flake.
Think about it.
If a salesman texts you, calls you on video, takes time to know you, and makes you feel good, it gets very hard to say no.
Romance works the same way. A woman has a much harder time flaking after she’s already invested this much.
Prepare for the Date
After you set the date, don’t go silent.
Keep doing the same things above so she stays excited to see you.
The actual date idea matters less than the fact that you’re meeting.
Have the Date
Enjoy the time with her and don’t let your frames crack.
The real you shows up.
If you don’t believe you’re high value, she will see it in what you say and do.
Not sure you have value? Go back to the ten things you wrote down.
Next Guide:
The Link Between Your Profile and Your Messages A strong profile does more than just get you good matches.