Should You Eat Ass?

Eating ass is not some secret level of masculinity, and it’s not a requirement for being “good in bed.” Some people love it. Some hate it. Some are curious but cautious. All of those are normal.

What matters is consent, comfort, and hygiene — not porn logic, not locker-room pressure, not trying to prove you’re fearless. If you’re doing it to impress someone while silently feeling grossed out, that energy usually leaks out anyway. Bad sex often starts with pretending.

A better question is: Do you want to do it, and do both of you feel safe talking about it?

If the answer is yes, great. If the answer is no, that’s not a failure. It just means you have boundaries.

This is where most people mess it up. They wait until things are already moving, then try to negotiate in the dark like it’s a hostage situation.

Don’t do that.

Bring it up when you’re clothed, relaxed, and not already halfway through the routine. Keep it simple:

• “Are you into anything like that, or not really?”
• “I’m open to trying new stuff, but I like talking about it first.”
• “If we ever do that, I’d want it to feel clean and comfortable for both of us.”

That last part matters. Confidence isn’t acting like you don’t have preferences. Confidence is being able to say them without turning weird.

If your partner says no, respect it immediately. No pouting, no pressure, no “come on, just once.” If they say maybe, ask what would make it feel okay. Maybe they want a shower first. Maybe they want to go slowly. Maybe it’s a hard no. All of those answers are useful.

Let’s be blunt: this is not a “spontaneous in the heat of the moment” activity for most couples. It works best when both people have a basic cleaning routine and enough self-awareness to not treat hygiene like an insult.

Practical basics:

• Shower beforehand if you’re planning to do it.
• Keep the area clean and dry.
• Trim nails and wash hands if those hands are going anywhere nearby.
• If there’s been diarrhea, stomach issues, or just a long sweaty day, skip it.

This is not about shame. It’s about common sense. The anus is not designed to smell like lavender and compliance. There’s a reason people prefer it after washing.

Example: if you’re hooking up after dinner, at a concert, and a long ride home, that’s probably not the moment. If you’ve both showered and talked about it beforehand, the odds improve dramatically.

One more thing: if you’re squeamish about germs, be honest with yourself. You can work through discomfort, but don’t lie to yourself and then act surprised when your body says no.

You do not get bonus points for intensity. The goal is not to “power through” or treat it like a stunt. It’s a sensitive area, and if you rush in like you’re opening a stuck jar, you’ll make it worse for everyone.

Start with clear consent and a calm pace. Use your mouth only if both of you are fully into it. Pay attention to the other person’s reactions. If they tense up, pull away, or go quiet, stop and check in.

Some basic rules:

• Don’t make assumptions from porn.
• Don’t treat it like a challenge.
• Don’t continue if the other person seems uncertain.
• Don’t fake enthusiasm if you’re not feeling it.

Concrete example: if your partner says, “Maybe,” that is not the same as “yes, go for it.” Maybe means ask for clearer consent or wait. Another example: if you start and immediately hate it, you are allowed to stop. You don’t need to finish the job like you’re filing taxes.

The best sexual experiences are usually not the most aggressive ones. They’re the ones where both people feel respected enough to relax.

A lot of men think being sexually open means saying yes to everything. That’s not openness. That’s insecurity wearing a costume.

A better standard is this: you can be curious without being obligating. You can try things without promising to love them. You can say, “Not for me,” without turning it into a referendum on your attractiveness or your partner’s worth.

If you’re on the fence, that’s okay. Ask yourself:

• Am I curious, or just trying to look adventurous?
• Do I trust this person enough to talk plainly?
• Can I handle saying no if I’m uncomfortable?
• Would I feel okay if the roles were reversed?

If the answer to the last one is no, that’s useful information. It usually means you need a more honest conversation, not a more daring move.

And if you do try it and decide it’s not your thing, that’s fine. Mature adults do not need to become fans of every sexual act on Earth.

The sexiest thing is not doing everything. It’s knowing what you want, saying it clearly, and not making the other person pay for your confusion.